The Worst Advice We’ve Ever Heard About Nerf Guns

NERF WAR!!!

What do those words signify to you? To some, they might sound fun and exciting while parents with little kids will only feel horror. If you’ve ever had a nerf gun fired at you by a middle schooler on a sugar high, you’ll feel immediate annoyance. A civil nerf war with friends, on the other hand, will elicit enthusiasm. These colorful, foam shooting guns are now one of the most famous toys ever, and not just for kids either. It’s not uncommon to see college students staging elaborate nerf wars, with substantial prizes for winners. On YouTube, there is an abundance of videos teaching you how to load correctly, aim and fire these fun guns. Many even flaunt their vast collections of nerf guns. No doubt, they have become a part of today’s mainstream pop culture.

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Now, let’s move on to the best use these bad boys can be assigned.

It’s summer time, a gloomy, rainy day. The kids don’t have school and cannot be sent outside to play in the backyard or neighborhood park. They sulk around, getting in your way and not letting you work. Suddenly you have a brainwave! Why not have them play with those expensive new nerf guns they got as birthday presents? The foam pellets are harmless and do not cause any injury, after all. The kids are sure to be occupied with the toys for hours. Nothing bad is going to happen, you think, innocently. So, you hand them the nerf guns and feeling quite proud of your ingenuity, retire to the study to finish up your work, warning the kids not to make too much noise.

You get down to it and thirty minutes go by with no noise from the kids. No one comes running up to you complaining or crying. You dismiss it as luck and continue with your work. Another half hour and you start getting paranoid. There isn’t any noise from outside either. It is too suspicious to ignore, so you cautiously exit the room, feeling like an enemy soldier in a military camp. There is no sign of them, and now you are feeling mortally afraid. You start down the stairs and the second you reach the bottom, a volley of foam darts hits you from all directions. The incessant shower of foam darts aimed at you rouses you faster than a bucket of cold water dumped on your head. You dodge, yell and try to run, but the assault doesn’t stop.

Finally, you manage to make it back up the stairs, the laughter of the kids echoing behind you, as they reload their nerf guns for round two of the attack. You run into the kids’ room and just pick up an extra nerf gun when they appear in the doorway. It is war!!

In conclusion, the worst advice I could probably offer you is to give your kids nerf guns on their birthday and even encourage them to play with said guns inside the house, without first similarly equipping yourself.